Nowhere Girl

Why is a generation of women only now discovering they have ADHD? (Spoiler: misogyny.) A writer examines the cost of living with undiagnosed ADHD in this reported memoir about the girls medical science ignored. When Carla Ciccone is diagnosed with ADHD at thirty-nine—an evaluation prompted by the demands of early motherhood—it flips the script on her life. After years of self-blame and self-sabotage, she discovers that her most reviled traits aren’t deep personality flaws, but symptoms of an undiagnosed disorder. And as she goes from being her own biggest hater to someone a bit more compassionate, she notices the growing community of women in the same situation. Weaving her personal story into an investigation of the rise in ADHD diagnoses, Ciccone draws on scientific research and expert interviews to reflect on the classrooms of the 1990s, where “ADD” was reserved for hyperactive white boys, and girls learned to mask their differences. She examines the hormonal upheavals of adolescence and their unique effects on neurochemistry, and later charts her chaotic entry into motherhood. She also explores the history of women’s mental healthcare and the pressure to perform our gender in a certain way. Throughout, Ciccone seeks to understand the ramifications of an ignored mental disorder for an entire generation of women—the nowhere girls. With humor, depth, and detailed reporting, Nowhere Girl explores the cultural impact of ADHD on girls and women, and offers a path forward to reclaim our narratives, forgive ourselves, and parent our children (and reparent ourselves) with the softness we never received.