How to Die with Zero Regrets (And Other Impossible Goals) (eBook, ePUB)

Meet Danny Finch, a chronically unlucky man whose life is a series of spectacularly bad decisions, cosmic misfortunes, and morally questionable coping mechanisms. After a failed suicide attempt (he slipped on a banana peel on his way to jump off a bridge), Danny decides that if life won‘t kill him, he might as well make the best of itby becoming the worst version of himself possible.From starting a pyramid scheme for grieving widows to accidentally becoming a cult leader for disillusioned millennials, Danny‘s descent into self-destructive absurdity is both horrifying and hilarious. Along the way, he encounters:Margo, his ex-therapist who now sells essential oils and bad life advice.Gary, a suicidal tax accountant who just wants someone to split the cost of a burial plot with.The "Happiness Brigade", a group of aggressively cheerful people who might actually be a death cult.As Danny‘s life spirals into chaos, he starts to wonder: Is there a point to any of this, or should he just start charging people to watch the train wreck? Tone & Style:Deadpan Narration: The story is told in a matter-of-fact, cynical voice, treating the most absurd and morbid events as perfectly normal.Satirical Takes: Dark humor skewers self-help culture, capitalism, and the relentless pursuit of happiness.Morally Grey (But Hilarious) Antics: Think Fight Club meets *Catch-22*, but if the protagonist had even less of a moral compass.