The 2025 Political Panic Preparedness Kit (eBook, ePUB)

📚 The 2025 Political Panic Preparedness Kit: A Satirical Self-Care Guide for the Chronically OverinformedBy Ethan Wolfen Are you emotionally exhausted by the news but too anxious to stop refreshing it? Do you suffer from side effects like spontaneous eye twitching, politically-induced rage baking, or arguing with your furniture over fiscal policy?Congratulations. You may be entitled to compensation, or at least this book.Surviving the 2025 Presidency is a laugh-out-loud survival guide for the politically conscious, emotionally fried, and spiritually duct-taped citizen just trying to get through another news cycle without launching into space via stress balloon.This satirical self-help book blends biting political commentary, emotional coping strategies, and unlicensed life advice to help readers navigate the chaos of the modern world with sarcasm, snacks, and maybe a lava lamp. 🧠 Inside You‘ll Find:Emergency meditation techniques for when democracy feels like a reality showPassive-aggressive recipes for surviving climate dread and supply chain breakdownsA legal (emotionally) class-action lawsuit against realityHow to spiritually reboot your life using only vibes and two legal loopholesStep-by-step instructions for hosting a coup-proof birthday partyAnd a complete soul-exfoliating ritual to remove the latest news cycle from your skin 🔍 Perfect For Fans Of:Political humor with a pinch of glitter and rebellionSatirical self-help books like The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F** and How to Stay Sane in an Age of DivisionSurvival guides for the mentally taxedAnyone Googling "how to build a bunker out of snacks and duct tape" at 3AM You won‘t fix the world by reading this book. But you will laugh, maybe cry, and definitely feel better knowing you‘re not the only one screaming into your tea about tariffs and sentient toasters.Welcome to the resistance. It‘s mostly vibe-based.